Friday, 30 December 2011

Camming and Escorting

Hi Ladies,

It has been a while.I don't have as much time for the blog as I did previously, but I will go into more details on that another time. A topic that has been coming into my inbox regularly as of late is escorting. A number of girls are writing to ask if I escort, and if this is something common in the community. I know many of you will be looking into this as debts mount and the sites remain quiet, so I wanted to present you with my opinion on the subject in the hopes that it will help you make the best decision for you.

An escort is defined by the dictionary as one of three things:

  • a. One or more persons accompanying another to guide, protect, or show honour.
  • b. A man who is the companion of a woman, especially on a social occasion.
  • c. A person, often a prostitute, who is hired to spend time with another as a companion.

Definition C is the what we are discussing so let us first consider the fact that it describes an escort as someone who is hired to spend time with another as a companion. Legally, in many countries and the majority of American states, you are not allowed to pay another person for sex. Escorts work around this by saying they are being paid for their time and that anything of a sexual nature that occurs during this time it is at their discretion and between two consenting adults.

I appreciate that there will be some escorts that do not sleep with their clients, but I would bet good money this is very small percentage. You will be expected to perform sex acts as an escort, so in truth it is better to realise you are getting yourself into the world of prostitution and solicitation. You are being paid to have sex with people, regardless of the way it is dressed up. If it wasn't about sex then the escorts ads online wouldn't outline what they will and wont do in the bedroom. If you want to get into this, go in with your eyes wide open for your own safety.

So knowing that this particular branch of sex work is shady at best in legal terms, is this something you really want to risk doing? There is always a chance of being booked for solicitation, and do you really want a criminal record associated with sex work? It is not going to be helpful should you want to change careers later on.

Career prospects and legal issues aside, one of the most important things to consider if your personal safety. Escorting (which I will now refer to as prostitution) is dangerous and therefore you really need to think about what you are truly getting yourself into. Prostitution is the most dangerous profession in America. 204 out of every 100,000 prostitutes are murdered in America alone, and considering there are 40 million prostitutes world wide, that is a lot of death*.

Even with agencies there is no guarantee of safety. If it doesn't kill you, then you are still almost promised violence of a physical and sexual nature. A psychologist called Farley has done numerous studies of prostitution and found some tragic statistics related to the violence perpetrated against these women**:

  • 82% of respondents had been physically assaulted since entering prostitution.
  • 68% of respondents reported that they had been raped since entering prostitution.
  • 48% of the respondents who had been raped, stated they had been raped more than 5 times.

It brings tears to my eyes to know nearly half of those women were raped over five times. Take a moment here and really think about those statistics and the people behind them and what they actually mean. If the physical assault of prostitution isn't enough, then what about the emotional impact? What happens to our minds when the industry takes its toll? In another study conducted in 1998, Farley found that two thirds of prostitutes suffered with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The number suffering with the condition was twice as high as Vietnam veteran suffering with the disorder, and the severity of the symptoms - emotional numbness, recurrent nightmares and flashbacks - was also more extreme than among the treatment seeking veterans***.

I would never judge another human being for working as a prostitute, and I know sometimes there seems to be few options in the world left open. I just know for me the emotional impact would be too much. I have had the opportunity to escort, but I have always declined, even when offered huge sums of money because in part I like to still be able to say I have never slept with anyone for money. Actual sex is something just for the lovers I choose to take. It's not a commercial exchange. It's a boundary I will never cross.

The other reason I don't escort is because I don't trust men who buy sex. I know they aren't all bad, blah blah blah, but I don't trust the majority of those men to see me as a human being. I believe they see me as a sexual object for their gratification and I believe that even though I may get away with a few decent men, for every one of those, there will be two who will turn out to be rapists, or violent, or thieves, or stalkers or murderers. Men who will buy me to exert their power over the "weaker" sex. Some of those men display their darker nature to me online, but thankfully I'm safely tucked away on the other side of the Atlantic for the most part.

None of us deserve violence or sexual assault in our lives, and regardless of whether you are a sex worker, a homemaker, or just a single girl who is a little bit drunk and out of the town, no one asks for it. I am not at all into victim blaming, but lets keep ourselves safe where we can in this situation. Don't put yourself in harms way. As grown women, we all make our choices, but we all deserve better than this. The studies do not have promising results and sadly, there is rarely any form of gain for women in the sex industry. It is all too often romanticised by the few fortunate enough to make a lot of money or have a good experience, (*cough* Secret Diary of a Call Girl *cough cough* Bell Du Jour *cough cough cough*) but the are in an extreme minority. Most sex workers stay poor. Most prostitutes are assaulted. I haven't even gotten into the risks of STD's, but of course that is always there even with a condom. Plus if you are raped, then chances are there will be no condom use anyway.

I think of you girls often when I'm working and out with Beau. Many of you have touched my heart deeply with your stories and I can't bear to think of you in such a dangerous situation. I trust you all to make your own decisions, but please consider this one carefully if it has been on your mind. Camming and phone sex are the safest ways to work in the sex industry, they keep you physically safe and you can switch it off and be done with it at any point. I want you to have the option to walk away from the sex industry with as little regret and as few scars as possible.

Be safe.

Much love



* This previously contained a link to the onlineschool with their statistics. The owner of the link was in my opinion an absolute prick about my site and he demanded I take down the link based on "information Google was providing," stating I have dodgy dealings with the links on my site. All unfounded bollocks and most likely simple prejudice against a site with adult content. If you would like the link to these statistics please email me at 
*** Female Chauvinist Pigs - Ariel Levy - 2005


  1. Wonderful post. As a cam girl I get requests for 'ecorting' several times a week. The sad part is that the majority of the men making the request won't take no for an answer via a chat room, so I can only imagine how forceful they would be in real life. Glad for the new post! hope to read more!

    <3 Ms. Ill

  2. Hmm. I have to disagree, to a point, with the safety of escorting versus your side of the street prostitute. I live in Canada, where prostitution isn't illegal so long as: You aren't running a Brothel, you aren't conducting any of your business in public and you aren't a John. That said, I've been an escort. I'd like to point out a few reasons why escorting, per-say, is substantially safer than hooking on the street. First of all, I used online advertising to find clients. I didn't give out my number and conducted our conversations via e-mail only. Escorting is often much more expensive [and it should be] than prostitution. You usually go by half hour or one hour minimum. This is to ensure no "blow and go's". I charged 200/h. I was a fetish escort so I was able to get away with not fucking clients. Blowjobs, yes but nothing more really. We conducted in your uncommon fetishes. Feet, pain. Whatever their deal was. I topped and bottomed. I told them that if they lived in apartments I expected to see security cameras as I walked in. They were not to pick me up anywhere nor were they going to drop me off after. I didn't host either, as I have a young child and didn't want to bring clients into my home, even though my son wouldn't be there. Simply not safe. Back to the cameras. If there were no cameras, they needed to foot the bill for a hotel/motel. Most still offer hourly rates, depending on where you go. If they had a problem with them I told them kindly that we would have to cancel the meet as I valued my safety over making money. Yes, I lost customers doing it this way, but I stayed safe. Considering I had no protection to ensure my safety, I had to take all measures. They were also aware that I would be calling markers and telling them when the session was starting and updating them on when it had ended. They knew where I was and would be able to vouch for my safety if the customer had any thoughts to a "different plan".

    I wasn't ever raped. Nor was I hurt... Disrespected. I stopped as meeting strangers for money was starting to bother me... and to be honest I was getting too lazy to travel to them.

    I think the statistics may need to be glanced at again. If these are being taken from prostitutes who charge 20 for a blowjob, 50 for a fuck, 80 for anal, that sort of thing... then, well, what do you really expect? Getting into some car and driving off after being picked up from the corner of A street and B avenue.

    I'd just like to state that your regular "prostitution" and escorting are two different thing with similarities. It is possible to be raped, yes, but meeting people online, where there's a paper/e-mail trail... The chances are severely lowered. In a motel, lowered again due to thin walls. Getting them to point out security cameras, lowered, once again.

    I'm not saying I was better than a prostitute, far from. The job was the same. Except I charged much more, for a more fulfilling hour. Not just fifteen minutes of pleasure then "I gotta go." But dressing nicely, taking your clothes off slowly. Carrying a conversation. Going out to dinner with them, if that's what they wanted. Then telling them at the end of the hour "our time is up, would you like to continue or shall we part ways until another day?"


  3. Thank you for your contribution Bunny. You raise many interesting points. I am genuinely glad this worked out for you, but again I have a feeling you were very lucky and the kind of escorting most camgirls are offered is basically street prostitution. I would feel uncomfortable endorsing something I personally consider to be a dangerous profession and there is no question keeping things online is safer.

    Craigslist and other such sites in my mind are the new street prostitution. Anyone can hook up online and you are no safer trusting some random stranger online than a man in the street. I have guys begging to come to my house, or get me to a hotel and while many offer good money, just as many offer me the rates you would expect for a cheap hooker. Also with regards to a paper trail there are so many ways to commit fraud online that wouldnt even begin to put off most perverts. Many men can talk to models on a free account and say they dont want to go through site payments. They could use a fake name and dummy email account. There is also opportunities for people using stole identities to take advantage etc. I dont believe a word the customers say to me online for the most part because I would rather be safe than sorry.

    I think some people do get lucky in the escorting game and I'm sure there are girls who don't have to go all the way, but again I think that is a small percentage. Most men (but not all) pay for a woman because they want what is underneath her dress. And also realistically, most of the women camming while beautiful and unique are not necessarily high class escort material.

    Your experience is very interesting though so thank you for sharing.


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  5. I came across your blog researching other blogs that talk about webcam modeling and cam work, now this particular post peeked my interested because it combines 2 things that I do personally. Escorting is something I have been doing on and off since 2006, and webcam modeling I have been doing on and off since 2003. In my country the laws towards prostitution and escorting are being challenges to be decriminalized. Now when you stated facts from Farely that is where my blood started to boil because Farely has an anti-sex work agenda I am sure if she wanted to she would put a spin on webcam modeling and try and turn into how we are all trafficked and slaves to do webcam work. When it comes to quoting stats from people who claim to be researchers on sex work you have to be extremely careful.

    I take huge offensive when you say there isn’t any gain for women being in the sex industry greatly. Probably because of my experience doing it and what benefits and rewards I get from it. I fight a lot to be able to work the way I want and see who I want when I want. Whether it be working at home as a webcam model or working independently or with an agency escorting.

    Yes there is a lot of shown in the media about escorts and sex workers that make me want to yell at the TV and say that isn’t true and even if I am watching it online trying very hard not to throw my laptop out the window, because really does not get that being a sex worker means there is a huge spectrum of everything in it.

    Because of the way media and certain "doctors" out there talk about sex work I have taken it into my own hands to create my own media and speak for myself.

    my blog about being a sex worker is called and my blog that talks about being a cam model is

    1. Ms St Claire, my apologies if you find this post offensive, but I respectfully disagree with you. Your personal, anecdotal experience does not mean that escorting is somehow completely safe.

      Meeting men you do not know for sex is risky whether you get paid or not, especially if you are meeting them in private. You are also engaging in an illegal activity in some areas, and you are involved in an industry that does traffic women and children. Just because you have not experienced trafficking does not somehow mean the statistics are wrong. You are very fortunate to have been in a position where you got to choose your lifestyle. Not everyone becomes an escort or prostitute out of choice. Not everyone get's the Belle Du Jour experience. Why would all these humanitarian charities exist to stop trafficking and abuse if this didn't happen?

      I have not said every escort gets raped or assaulted, but how can you say this is unlikely to happen? You have no statistics, just anecdotal evidence, which is even less reliable. Even with the best security an escort agency can provide how can you truly be safe unless you have a body guard stood outside the door?

      We could all be attacked or raped at any time arguably, however escorting statistically increases that risk. If you don't agree that is fine, but I personally think you are blinded by emotions and a desire to protect yourself and your chosen profession. You seem to think all the statistics and documentaries are wrong, like everyone has an agenda against you. I certainly don't have anti sex work attitude, but I don't believe in encouraging my readers into a more risky industry than cam work. Cam work is far safer than escorting. I would never judge someone for being an escort, and I believe if legalised and regulated in well managed, secure brothels that it would be far safer.

      I believe sex is something we should all have access to, and I know for some disabled clients, or unattractive, sex workers can be a way to access something they may otherwise struggle to get in society. However, where escorting is illegal, unregulated and girls are left to meet men alone, or walk the street it is certainly not the safest activity. Not to mention the women and girls who have been coerced into this life, but this post was never really about that. It was always about women chooding this for themselves, just like cam work.

      Again, because that is not your experience does not mean that is not the experience of many, but regardless, I am genuinely glad you have been fortunate and safe and hope that continues for you. I hope your comment garners you traffic to your blog :)

  6. I am not satisfied with your some points Lancashire escorts today lots of agency provide escorting services and i never listen that escorts girl are unsafe in this job.