|Don't we all...|
On this the royal wedding day, I am contemplating my own love connections and my choice of career. I have recently started seeing someone romantically and I am in a moral quandary over whether or not to disclose my camgirl antics to him. He is rather conservative, not the type of man I usually go for, and so far I like him.
He is funny and charming and we seem to be getting on really well. We haven't slept together yet as it's only been a couple of weeks, but I really, really want to! He is gorgeous. All dark hair and eyes, it hits me hard every time I see him. Although I can be a dominatrix on camera, the real me is a little more shy about initiating things with someone I like but have yet to get naked with. I want to see where this one goes though so I'm going to be patient and take it slow.
I'm not sure he would be too thrilled about the camgirl career path I have chosen. He seems a little old fashioned and when I have brought up the idea of deviance in the bedroom he has become a little flustered and uncertain. I can't ascertain whether this is because we do not know each other too well yet, or if he disagrees with being sexually deviant. I hope its the former because if it is the latter I know it will never work. If this man cannot even begin to attempt at getting me off in public... well I'm just not sure I can go the rest of my life without it!
We were having dinner together a few nights ago and in an attempt at taking things to a more intimate level I decided to hike the flirtation up a notch. We ordered ice cream for dessert and once it arrive I leaned in towards him, squeezing my breasts together and slowly licked my spoon. (I was wearing a very sexy halter dress that does wonders for my bust with the old squeeze and lean). I asked him in what I hoped was a seductive whisper "So tell me, what is the most deviant thing you have ever done? I bet you are a very naughty boy!" and slid my foot up the inside of his leg. This seemed to send him into shock though as he choked on his ice cream and dropped his spoon. It didn't seem to be in outrage, but spluttering with a napkin did rather kill the mood and so I left it and instead poured him a glass of water.
He didn't answer my question in the end so I am left wondering. I would worry more about offending him with my flirting but to be honest if he scares that easily he's probably not for me and I have done myself a favour. I may not be the most forward of girls, but I am confident enough not to fake being a virgin. I want a man who enjoys sex and can be open about it and goddammit I will find one!
Do you think it's right for me to wait to tell him about my web modelling career? We aren't serious at all at this point, but some would argue the sooner it is out in the open the better. My concern is that at this point it might be foolish to trust him with something I struggled to tell my closest friends, but then again it is sometimes far easier to open up to a stranger. Again, personal lives are complicated!
Maybe I will send him an anonymous email with just my livecam web address and instructions. I will of course include a warning not to be eating or drinking while viewing the link. I would hate for him to choke any harder than he did at the restaurant.
Enjoy the royal wedding wherever you are!
Lots of Love