Friday, 29 April 2011

So...

Don't we all...

On this the royal wedding day, I am contemplating my own love connections and my choice of career. I have recently started seeing someone romantically and I am in a moral quandary over whether or not to disclose my camgirl antics to him. He is rather conservative, not the type of man I usually go for, and so far I like him.

He is funny and charming and we seem to be getting on really well. We haven't slept together yet as it's only been a couple of weeks, but I really, really want to! He is gorgeous. All dark hair and eyes, it hits me hard every time I see him. Although I can be a dominatrix on camera, the real me is a little more shy about initiating things with someone I like but have yet to get naked with. I want to see where this one goes though so I'm going to be patient and take it slow.

I'm not sure he would be too thrilled about the camgirl career path I have chosen. He seems a little old fashioned and when I have brought up the idea of deviance in the bedroom he has become a little flustered and uncertain. I can't ascertain whether this is because we do not know each other too well yet, or if he disagrees with being sexually deviant. I hope its the former because if it is the latter I know it will never work. If this man cannot even begin to attempt at getting me off in public... well I'm just not sure I can go the rest of my life without it!

We were having dinner together a few nights ago and in an attempt at taking things to a more intimate level I decided to hike the flirtation up a notch. We ordered ice cream for dessert and once it arrive I leaned in towards him, squeezing my breasts together and slowly licked my spoon. (I was wearing a very sexy halter dress that does wonders for my bust with the old squeeze and lean). I asked him in what I hoped was a seductive whisper "So tell me, what is the most deviant thing you have ever done? I bet you are a very naughty boy!" and slid my foot up the inside of his leg. This seemed to send him into shock though as he choked on his ice cream and dropped his spoon. It didn't seem to be in outrage, but spluttering with a napkin did rather kill the mood and so I left it and instead poured him a glass of water.

He didn't answer my question in the end so I am left wondering. I would worry more about offending him with my flirting but to be honest if he scares that easily he's probably not for me and I have done myself a favour. I may not be the most forward of girls, but I am confident enough not to fake being a virgin. I want a man who enjoys sex and can be open about it and goddammit I will find one!

Do you think it's right for me to wait to tell him about my web modelling career? We aren't serious at all at this point, but some would argue the sooner it is out in the open the better. My concern is that at this point it might be foolish to trust him with something I struggled to tell my closest friends, but then again it is sometimes far easier to open up to a stranger. Again, personal lives are complicated!

Maybe I will send him an anonymous email with just my livecam web address and instructions. I will of course include a warning not to be eating or drinking while viewing the link. I would hate for him to choke any harder than he did at the restaurant.

Enjoy the royal wedding wherever you are!

Lots of Love

London

x

InternetModeling.com - Webcam Models Wanted!



Thursday, 28 April 2011

Very Cherry Happy...


I had a fantastic day out today with Cherry. She is helping me prepare for my burlesque show and so suggested we hop on the tube and do some shopping in the vintage boutiques and market stalls in Camden. Being the girl that I am I couldn't do anything but agree and with the glorious weather I decided it would be silly to stay in on  the camera all day.

It was so good to spend some time with her. She really is my best friend. We are like two peas in a pod. She knows me inside and out really, and has always tried to help me in anything I have set my mind to do. From my GCSE options at school, to my terrible decisions in fashion, hairstyles and love, and now my career as a camgirl, she has always been a rock for me.

We got the tube to Mornington Crescent and headed up the high street, straight for the market. I love walking up the colourful street though, I feel like such a tourist, but I still can't fight the smiles every time we walk past Chaos and all the other stores with their technicolour fronts and their sometimes 3D almost cartoon like signs. Cherry isn't as excitable as me, she strides through crowds with a sense of purpose, whereas I tend to pace myself, taking in my surroundings. She grabbed my arm and firmly pulled me through the throng of pedestrians until we came to the market entrance.

I knew the places to try first and had several shops on my hit list. The Arc and Rokit were the two vintage stores I had in mind. I was hoping they may have had some fans in stock, but aside from several gorgeous dresses, they didn't have what I was looking for. Arc had some fantastic lingerie too, but it just wasn't quite what I wanted.

We also hit Sai Sai and GLP for some Japanese elegant Gothic Lolita fetish looks. I keep thinking this may be an avenue I explore further as several customers have said they like this kind of look. As I am currently specialising in pin up outfits, I see no reason not to have a few extra looks at my disposal.

Cherry found it hilarious trying on the Lolita couture and we did look a tad ridiculous. But I also thought she looked rather cute in the sailor style outfit she tried on at the end. I took a picture on my iPhone and set it as my wall paper because I thought she looked adorable. She is petite enough to pull it off really. She is tiny, slim and short. She looked like a doll. I am slim, petite in frame, but fairly tall so it just doesn't give the same effect. At least I feel tall spending all my time with such a tiny companion!

In the end after visiting a few more shops I picked up a waspie from Burleska and decided it would be best to just order the fans online once I have made a decision. I've been watching a few fan dances on YouTube and I think they could be quite effective.

Cherry and I decided to make the most of the day we had left together and so we picked up some donuts and muffins from a Tesco express and grabbed a couple of strawberry and cream frappuchinos from Starbucks and headed for the parks. It was a lovely day and made we realise we need to get out and into the heart of the city more often together. The two of us are always so busy we can end up missing out on what is really important. We need to have fun and mess around and be like the kids we were to keep life interesting, otherwise for me life is going to be all sex shows and no play!

I will try and post another update tomorrow. Sorry this one has been so late. I have just been so caught up with life it's been hard to find the time! Hope you are all still enjoying the weather.

Love and peace

London

x

InternetModeling.com - Webcam Models Wanted!

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

The colour of sex...

If they really tasted that sweet I would honestly get nothing done...

So last night I was asked about my toy selection from a customer with a particular request. I have a few toys available, an 8 inch pink silicone "Doc Johnson" dildo I purchased here, an Ann Summers slim wave pink rabbit and one of their pink rose petal clit stims.

Now don't ask me why all my sex toys are pink, because I do not naturally gravitate towards girlish colours, and never have. However, when it came to buying my first dildo I think I picked pink because it seemed non threatening and truthfully I was a little scared. I was raised in a very anti-sex house and so when I first left home at the ripe old age of 21, even though I had been having sex for a few years I was still nervous at the thought of an artificial cock.

I remember the first time I got my dildo out of the packaging. It was much bigger than I had anticipated and I was convinced it would never fit inside of me. I'm a petite little thing and at this point was still quite virginal. I had no idea what I was doing, and the 8 incher is quite girthy, so even with lube the first time I tried to slide it in I just couldn't manage it. It was like my pussy closed up! I'd even made myself come before hand to prepare myself, but it just wouldn't go in!  It took a few tries over a week to actually get it in, but when it did finally slip inside I had never experienced anything quite like it. It was such a feeling of fullness and tightness, but it was very pleasurable. I laugh when I think how easy it is to slide it in for my customers every day now. It still feels just as tight, but there's a knack to getting it in.

Anyway I'm getting completely off track! The reason I am mentioning my dildos is that my customer was asking me for a black one to use on myself, and he is not the first. Many of my customers care more about the colour of my dildo than the size and it is actually a real bone of contention for them if I do not stock their chosen colour. Some men have requested black, some have requested clear, some have requested a Caucasian flesh tone. I didn't realise when I got into this that I should have so many colours of cock ready for my clients!

I suppose in many ways it was naive of me to forget that for some men is race a fetish, and that to watch a pale, white girl ride a black dildo is a big turn on. But it's largely about the visual for a cam model client and so some probably just want to picture me riding their own cock, which is easier if the dildo I am sliding in and out of me resembles the flesh of their own and not some candy pink silicone wand. That's my theory anyway. I'm not sure I get the clear dildo requests yet though? Maybe they want to imagine I'm fucking the invisible man? Maybe someone can enlighten me?!

So now I'm thinking of investing in a few different colours for my collections. Does anyone have any recommendations? I do most of my sex toy shopping online at www.lovehoney.co.uk as they have never disappointed but I am open to change. I like them because they do free delivery with no minimum order total and so I like ordering the sex toy cleaner sqwerty and the odd N sized batteries for my clit stim here. It's useful as in this business you need a good toy cleaner, and taking care and maintaining the toys is important, so its nice to have the convenience. I am thinking of getting the clear version of my Doc Johnson and maybe a slightly slimmer, 7 inch black dildo here too.

Would love to hear all about your toy experiences and reviews! Hope you are having as much fun in the sun as me as it has been a glorious week here in London town!

Also, if you are interested in becoming a cam model like me, or finding out a bit more about the whole process, my agency Internet Modelling are a great place to start and sign up. You get paid every week and there are no minimum payouts or working hours so check it out here! We recruit men and women alike and are also looking for couples of any gender combination so don't be shy.

See you soon. Much love and peace!

London

x

InternetModeling.com - Webcam Models Wanted!

Monday, 25 April 2011

Tease me...

Nobody does it quite like Dita...

I have been corresponding with a client about ordering a special show from me. On livecam you can buy block shows with models for a discounted rate and so this person was contemplating buying 30 minutes with me so I could perform an extended burlesque pin up style performance. The rules he has laid out are that no matter how much he begs or pleads, I must not show him anything more than my ass cheeks. No nipple, no pussy, no matter how much he begs!

I asked him if he was really sure this was what he wanted because it seems like an awful long show for him to be teased and not actually get to see the things he really wants. He reminded me however that for him "the teasing is the best part." He told me that there is an agony and and fire in the genitalia as he prays for an accidental slip, that while he touches himself it is all the more intense not knowing if I will be able to keep my promise as with just one wrong move my breast could be exposed.

He wants me to wear traditional pin up clothing which is one of my specialities. I have suspenders, stockings and pasties available but I have never performed a full burlesque show before. I am thinking of investing in some big ostrich feather fans to give him a real traditional vaudeville style show, but they are expensive! I mean I will easily make enough money in a week to buy several of the damn things if I want, but between £75 - £130 is a lot of money if I only use them once. I haven't considered becoming a burlesque model before, but I suppose there may be a demand for this kind of thing and having the props available wouldn't hurt. Might even be an interesting dynamic to teasing the men in free chat. I don't think most of them would have the iron will of my tease fetish customer not to see my breasts in all their glory.

I do like the idea of performing a sensual dance for my customers though. I think when it's done properly a dance can be so erotic. I'm not talking about booty clapping mind you! I'm talking about an erotic lap dance, slowly rolling hips and limbs sensuously caressing your own body. I have always found burlesque very arousing, and have always enjoyed teasing my partners with strip teases.

Aside from Mr Tease I had a wonderful time this morning with my sexy Italian friend I have mentioned playing with in previous posts. He is the reason I am so late posting as we spent a lot of this morning together getting off. He is fascinated by my pleasure and so we used my rampant rabbit today. The last time he enjoyed watching my fingers, but seeing how wet I was getting he asked me if I would use the rabbit. He said he wanted to know my clit was being thoroughly worked. I was getting so turned on and my nipples were so hard watching him. He is one of my hottest regulars and truly a pleasure to look at. I ended up coming three times during our session I was so turned on.

I can't wait to play with him again, and he has booked an appointment for next week, so it wont be too long before I'm having fun again! And soon enough I will be performing my special strip tease when I work out the details so next week it all ready filling up with good shows.

I will let you know more about the strip show and what I am planning to do when I know, but if you have any experience with pin up or burlesque I would love to hear your comments and advice!!! I would also be interested to hear if any of you have any regular clients you have extra special fun with...

Hope you have all been having as much fun in the sun as I have!

Much love and happiness

London

x

InternetModeling.com - Webcam Models Wanted!

Sunday, 24 April 2011

Sunday Camgirl Anthems - S&M

Sunday is the day of rest. Today especially being Easter Sunday for all those are inclined to celebrate the Christian calender festivals. I have decided to post some fun stuff on weekends and leave my proper posts for the weekdays and thus on this Sunday I have decided to share one of my favourite bad girl tunes by Rihanna. Enjoy...

Saturday, 23 April 2011

And now for something completely different...

I couldn't cope with uploading a picture of a moth, it freaked me out too much so instead here is some cute toilet paper!

I just have to share this because it was so surreal, apologies in advance if you don't find this dilemma funny or you consider it cruelty to our insect population...

I have to say that today when I woke up I was really desperate for the bathroom so I legged it into my loo and went for a number 1. When I went to flush however I saw the biggest moth I have ever seen flapping about the the basin and honestly I am terrified of them so I basically screamed and hit the flusher. As I was washing my hands though, I saw the moth had somehow managed to escape the flush and was still flailing around in the basin. I ended up covering the powdery winged minion of evil with lots of toilet paper and ran away so it couldn't fly after me if it somehow managed to jump out of the bowl.

Can someone please tell me how it isn't dead after a hefty dose of urine followed by a flush/swirly?! Normally I try to bat them out of the window they flew in or catch them under a glass, but this one is in my toilet! I'm not sure how I will pee for the rest of the day if I can't flush that mother! I can't knowingly wee on a moth!

I am sorry if you love moths, but honestly they give me the shivers. And I peed on one. I peed on a moth. There is a sentence I never thought I would say...

London

x

InternetModeling.com - Webcam Models Wanted!

Friday, 22 April 2011

Don't call me *******

The real me is not your personal sex robot thanks boys! Nor am I prepared to accept your constant objectification and sexualisation! If you want that go watch a magical robot girlfriend anime and cry into your crusty sock.

I organized a night out recently to celebrate the end of a certain chapter in my life. I often find ridiculous reasons for my friends and I to get together and go out because otherwise I find it is easy for us all to drift apart as we get older, get partners, full time jobs, move away etc. It was supposed to be a light hearted affair at a local club, but it turned into a real test of my personal strength and made me question my decision in telling certain people about the job I am now doing.

In previous posts I have been very clear about my feelings towards my stage persona. The girl I have constructed for my shows is not the person I am in real life and so it is important to me that the people who know me remember this. I don't want my stage persona to be referenced as the real me because she is completely separate. She is a fantasy and a role that I play to enable me to do my job and keep my personal sexuality between me and my chosen partners.

I told three of my male friends about my decision to cam model before telling my female friends. I did this because they were more removed from the situation, less emotional and actually had more of an understanding of the online porn industry. I knew I could trust these men and so decided to ask for their advice about the agencies, and to help me do the sort of online digging I could never do. (I am friends with nerds and I love them!) Their support was invaluable in helping me find my agency and discussing technology and testing out certain ideas. The troopers even sat up late into the night watching other girls in free chat while we discussed their show styles over MSN!

As I say, they were wonderful to me, but on this night out I felt a little bit strange because two of the men I have told were there and when they were together they treated me differently than I would have expected. They were treating my like I was an object, suddenly feeling like they had the right to sexualize everything I said and being a lot more touchy than they were previously. They even went so far as to call me by my stage name.

Now in general I am a polite, relatively meek person. I don't make a fuss about things and I tend to let things go, but I have never been objectified like this before, nor have I felt so disrespected by my friends. Both these men knew I wanted to keep my stage persona totally separate and not really discuss it too much outside of our online talks, so the fact they were calling me a dirty girl and referencing my act did really bother me, so much so I had to decide whether to just ignore it or say something. In the end I chose the latter.

I took them aside and said "Excuse me, but I am not ******* and I do not appreciate you calling me by this name. I am London, your friend, not some dirty slut. I don't care if I'm a stripper, a prostitute or a cam model, you don't have the right to disrespect me like that unless you want to pay for the privilege! If you mess up like this again don't expect to see me around anymore."

They seemed a bit sheepish after that, but neither of them were as repentant as I would like. No matter what your profession, your gender, sexuality, whatever, no one has the right to objectify you or make you feel uncomfortable. I am a human being and on top of that I am well spoken, intelligent and independent, but even if I wasn't that should not be a factor on how well you treat me. I may make money from adult entertainment, but that does not mean that when I switch off the camera you have the right to treat me with any less respect than you would give a Sunday school teacher. I suppose my surprise was that my friends could make that mistake, but then again maybe they aren't really my friends after all.

With one of they guys it is even more difficult as we have been close friends for many years, but he has held romantic feelings for me for some time. I don't return these feelings and so sometimes he passive aggressively tries to hurt me when he is feeling hurt himself. He watches me regularly and has paid for several long shows with me. He says he likes the power of seeing me in a way he never thought he would see me and that there is nothing the men I might date can do about it, but in the same breath he says he is jealous at the idea of me enjoying myself with other customers. It's a strange situation and maybe I would have been better to have avoided telling him about my shows, but I wanted to go into all this with the best information and support I could get, and at the time I felt this was right.

I wish he would move on because I feel like he's only really damaging himself and maybe the cam shows will just continue to feed his infatuation. Now if I am offline for a few days taking a break from talking to people just so I can have some me time he seems to be offended. And I have also found he is more demanding, derogatory and dominant towards me now in real life which I find difficult. Maybe he does it because he has seen me be submissive in shows, but regardless of the reasoning it makes me uncomfortable and I have tried telling him so. I keep telling him that just because I do what a customer wants as my stage person doesn't mean I won't tell you where the hell to go when I'm off camera. He doesn't seem to want to separate the two now though. I told him he should feel privileged to know the real me because no one else on livecam gets that, but I guess sex is just too appealing. He's known the platonic, real me for so long now its probably just nice in his mind to have a sexual version of me.

It's all a bit tricky. I like to think I can keep the line clearly defined with my stage persona on one side and me on the other, but its just not possible when you let certain people in and they start to blur it for you. I don't want my friendships with these people to end, but I don't want them to think they own me. I don't want them to objectify me. I don't care what my customers do because I don't know them and they are only here for my act, but my friends do know my heart and my soul and so they should treat me better than this and know that I'm not some cheap hooker, but a smart, independent young woman who deserves their respect.

I suppose in my mind if you objectify your friends then they aren't really your friends anymore because you dehumanized them. It's very unattractive to me when people do that. What do you think? Have I messed it all up? Am I an idiot? Should I have told those guys where to go or was I over reacting?

Personal lives are hard!

Peace and Love

London

x

InternetModeling.com - Webcam Models Wanted!

Thursday, 21 April 2011

But my heart belongs to daddy...

Why do so many men seem to idolise the concept of their very own Lolita?

I am thinking more and more about the morality of what I do as a camgirl and how some of the customer requests align with my personal feelings. I have a strong feminist background, and I still hold many of my feminist views regardless of what my job may entail. I do not agree with rape or sexual violence without consent. I do not agree with pedophilia, racism, incest or bestiality, yet as models we are encouraged by our agencies to sell our customers a fantasy and turn our no into a yes wherever possible.

My most common request is to become an underage girl for my customers. They want me to call them Daddy and pretend to be their daughters in most of the role play situations. It's all very Lolita. Sometimes I find it easy enough to call them daddy and imagine they are seeing me as an adult female, but more and more the ages they are asking me to play are getting younger and younger. As I have said before I disagree with pedophilia but I know for most of the men they get off on the taboo nature of the role play. They know I am of age and I'm in my twenties, and my bust and hips are far too curvy for me to look childlike. If they wanted someone who actually had a childlike body they would not be coming to me.

The issue that came up this week was that I was asked to play a 9 year old girl and I found it quite disturbing. The guy had been messaging me for about a week to build up a rapport and request a costume, which I was okay with. He wanted the whole white knee socks, pigtails shtick. It wasn't until we actually got into the room though that he said he wanted me to play a 9 year old and I found that very difficult because I know children of that age and it made it that much more real. I think to do this job you have to accept you will be working with fantasies you don't always find pleasant, because sticking to your morals on every occasion will mean you lose an awful lot of business and therefore money, but sometimes it is still a real dilemma. I suppose it is also easy to perform when you tell yourself, each to their own, who I am to judge what is purely fantasy?



I'm still getting to grips with the idea of just letting their fantasies wash over me. You need a Teflon coating to do this, you can't let it stick to you. I have been trying to see myself as a sketch book during shows. I am not myself, I am a blank sheet until the customer paints their picture, and once it is over, I screw it up and toss it away because it is of no value to me. I don't want to become dissociative with my work, because of course I am still present, but I find for the sick stuff it is better to protect yourself from it. I still enjoy the normal work. I actually enjoy performing for the men who want me to be myself and see a woman enjoy her body. If I get talking to a lonely guy on my channel who takes me private I always try to make him feel extra special because these are the people I can connect with and want to provide a good service for.


What do you think? Are their any requests you get that you can't stand? I have too many to even list and will probably post others at a later date! How do you cope with the part of the job you dislike? Do you stick to your morals or have you been surprised at what you are willing to do for a private session? Being a camgirl has taught me a lot about myself that's for sure!

Love London

x

InternetModeling.com - Webcam Models Wanted!

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

My doctor says...



I think after my last two posts about friendship and honesty, I will let Dr. Seuss summarize succinctly what I am trying to convey:

" Be who you are, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind" - Dr Seuss

Thank you  for being so articulate children's literature! 

Negative reactions...



I posted yesterday a piece about the positive experience I had with one of my friends recently when I finally decided to come out and tell them that I am working as a webcam model. She was incredibly supportive, but I was tentative in opening up because my experiences with other people even just jokingly broaching the subject have been met with quite a bit of hostility. As I want to share all aspects of my experiences on this blog I think its only right I give a bit of information on how I have handled the people who have been less than impressed with my decision.

I have two truly close friends in my life. I never had sisters myself, but I consider these girls to be like my sisters and I have always shared everything with them. When I decided I was going to be a webcam model and filled in the application forms, the idea of keeping this a secret from them was not appealing. I had a feeling they would be quite disappointed in me, but I hoped that our bond would be enough for them to overcome their initial prejudices and look a bit deeper and try to understand my reasons for choosing this path and see it is a perfectly legitimate profession.

I decided to start with my oldest friend "Cherry". I was least worried about telling her knowing she is mature and open minded and so even if she doesn't agree with me, she normally accepts my decisions without forcing her own opinions down my throat. Being my closest friend since childhood, growing up together, watching each other go through life changing events I could see she was truly shocked when I told her. Her initial reaction was one of fear. She asked a lot of questions, stated she thought I needed to rethink my decision to model, and she wasn't convinced it was a good idea. We parted on okay terms, but with her decidedly against webcam modelling. I didn't see her coming round to the idea any time soon.

My other friend "Mia" was even less happy. I didn't even tell her I had decided to do it and she went absolutely crazy at me. I mentioned that since things had been getting pretty dire at home and I needed a way to earn money I had been looking at my online options. I then said webcam modelling looked like a good way to make some money and I had researched a few sites and was thinking it over. She completely snapped and said it was immoral, I was wrong to even consider it, that it was beneath me and I should be going back to my education or finding something reputable that I can manage. I joked that "It's easy for you to have morals and principles when you can afford them. Some of us don't have that luxury." It made her laugh as she knows she's got a bit of a silver spoon in her mouth situation going on, but in the end she was so against it I lied to her and said I wouldn't do it.

I don't like lying to my friends, but I am glad that with Mia I approached the subject as though I was just looking into it. Knowing her as I do, she is very opinionated and as much as I admire it, if she disagrees with me we are actually related and she will inform my family members. When she thinks she is right and knows best she will not just leave me to decide for myself even though it shouldn't be her decision. Because of her reaction I have decided to keep my job from her and now she cannot be involved in what has become a significant part of my life and I'm still not sure how to manage that. I suppose I just have to wait it out and hope I have the wisdom to know how to tackle our relationship and manage this secret.

In light of what has happened with Mia, I'm very glad that Cherry did not actually hold on to her negative views of the industry. When she realised I was serious and began to understand my reasons for doing this, she actually became one of my staunchest supporters, offering me advice and encouragement when needed. I really couldn't ask for a better friend.

I think although Cherry's initial reaction wasn't so positive, she was entitled to her reaction and actually showed herself to be a real friend by taking the time to evaluate my situation and understand the job. I think it actually has brought us closer because we were both honest, and disagreed without it becoming an issue. Mia on the other hand I am still not 100% sure about. I hate lying to her but I don't feel I can risk her telling my family about my cam modelling.

What do you guys think? Do you model in secret? Do your friends know? How did they react and did it change your relationship? These are my experiences, I would love to know yours!

Love London

x

InternetModeling.com - Webcam Models Wanted!

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Telling my friends...


I have been modelling for about a month now and literally almost no one has known. I have told two people in my life who I trusted not to judge me and they have been an invaluable source of support to me. It has been hard to imagine discussing this with most of my friends who went on to university and are now graduates starting out on the path towards getting their dream job. I have visions of their faces crumpling with disappointment and disgust. I see their brows furrowing in judgment in my minds eye and so I felt my best option was to keep my actions secret for as long as possible. Most of my friends probably wouldn't believe I am doing this anyway!

The thing is that I love the people who are close to me in my life dearly and it has been hard living a double life. I don't want a wedge to grow between me and my closest friends and really if they cannot accept my decision to do this, are they truly my friends? I chose the word accept because that is all I wish for them to do, accept my choice without judgement. I don't need them to be thrilled or even agree with it, but I want them to accept that it is my choice as an adult, and for them to continue treating me as they did before.

Slowly I am telling them. I told one of my friends tonight and she was incredibly supportive. I'm glad because I respect her and all the people I am choosing to tell now and their opinions do matter to me. I admire their commitment to their goals and careers and I would be sad if they couldn't see past what is essentially just another job. Maybe I feel this way because I know deep down if my circumstances had different and I was in their position I probably wouldn't have judged myself so kindly. I think it is very easy to be a snob about these sorts of things when you have a narrow mind from little life experience.

Fortunately my friends are wonderful people and I was silly to think they would be anything other than kind. I could continue to hide my job from them, and from many people I will, but for those closest to me I have decided to broach the subject gently and begin to let them know. I think it will enable me to keep myself healthy in my attitude and emotions and keep me free from the burden of hiding things from my best friends.

I'm so glad I'm friends with a bunch of liberal lefties!

I think if you are planning on doing this job in secret it would be a good idea to confide in at least one person you trust, or join a camgirl forum, or even vent here in the comments section just so you aren't carrying your secret totally alone. In my opinion it is healthy to share things with others and to be heard so you can get a bit of support or get things off your chest. I say this in nearly every post, but your emotional well being should be your primary concern regardless of money. You must value yourself to stay sane in this culture. Although saying all this choose who you tell carefully as once it's out there you can't take it back.

My friend did say "Wow that was totally not what I expected you to tell me tonight..." then we high fived because we are awesome. So in summary telling some people has not been a bad experience, but telling others... that is a whole other post.

London

x

InternetModeling.com - Webcam Models Wanted!

Monday, 18 April 2011

Dealing with the chaff...

During my first few weeks as a cam model I have already witnessed several trends in bad behaviour from my customers. While most are generally polite and fair, it is obvious some people are out for all they can get for free and there seem to be a few different types of grifters working the rooms trying to rip off the camgirls. I want to share my experience and offer a few tips to prepare those just getting started. Here is how to separate the good ones from the bad; the wheat from the chaff... here come the trolls!

For those of you who don't know, this is a troll face. Become aquainted with it as you will meet maaaaaaany trolls as a webcam model. If you don't know what a troll is then google it along with internet etiquette to hopefully reduce the number of them in your room. You must not feed the trolls!!!


Type one: The less than 1 minute private show...

This customer will take you into your private room and instantly demand you strip. As soon as you reveal your breasts he leaves the room. This will all usually occur in the space of 20 seconds or so as most girls will just do as they are told to please the customer. Unfortunately they will not get paid if he does not remain in the room for more than 30 seconds.

This customer is basically coming into your room to take a screen shot of you for his porn collection so the best thing to do is perform a burlesque style strip to draw out the length of time it takes for you to remove your bra. Turn your back on them, slowly slip down your straps one at a time, unhitch your bra but hold it over your breasts. Don't reveal any nipple until you are about 40 or so seconds into the call as that is all they want. If they are genuine customers they shouldn't complain you are taking ages as it won't even have been a minute and if they leave the room because you are taking too long then you know what they were after.


Type two: The "Tipper"...

This customer operates mostly in the rooms of new cam models or very busy models. His scam is to type out that he has tipped you a certain amount of dollars in the chat screen so when you are busy or inexperienced you think he has tipped you. He is demanding and argumentative saying he tipped you x amount and is hoping that you will become flustered and perform his requests without verification.

Most experienced cam models will know what tips look like and will have a separate window open with their earnings page up so they can check how they are doing during their shift. I recommend having your earnings report open in a separate window just so you can verify the liars from those who have actually tipped. This way when you see that you have not been tipped you can politely say that nothing has come through and the customer will need to take it up with one of the web support team if money has been taken from their account.

Do not feel pressured by these customers demands and politely stand up for yourself. Don't get aggressive or upset no matter how petty these men get. I do not flash my breasts for tips in free chat and one of these "Tippers" told me he had tipped me $10 and so I had better get my tits out. He was lying about the $10 and had literally just typed **** has tipped $10. It also clearly states in my profile that I do not flash for tips so I was very polite but in the end told him that the money had not gone through but even if it had, I would not be flashing my breasts as stated in my profile. This customer then tried to rip me off with a less than 1 min show but left before the 30 free seconds were up.

To be honest after that customer I needed to take a 30 min break to calm down as I was pretty angry that he had cleared my busy room by taking me private, taken me away from real clients and just tried so hard to rip me off. I didn't want it to affect my show so I logged off as I would recommend to anyone having a bad shift. Be kind to yourself and don't get totally caught up in the money. You need to look after you emotionally otherwise you will end up hating the job.

Type three: The Frenemy...

This guy is, I am sad to say, a loser. He is that guy that will spend his whole shift hanging around your room all day talking to you and trying to essentially build up a friendship. He has a million reasons not to take you private. He respects you too much. He doesn't want a sexual relationship. He has already spent his limit. He just missed you online and spent it on another girl (lie btw he is far too cheap for that).

This bloke basically wants you to be his girlfriend. He is in it for the long haul. Wherever you are in the world he is saving up to come visit you for real because he wants to get to know you. The real you etc. He will clog up your chat feed with questions and chatter making it hard to read other paying clients requests and try to take your attention away from people who you could actually be giving a show.

It's hard with these customers as sometimes you feel a genuine rapport and they can talk about things you are interested in discussing, but you must remember you are at work and if you want to make money it is better to ignore these "friends" because they do you no favours in the long run. Sure if its a slow shift then chat to them, use them to your advantage to keep you buzzing, but you must politely ignore them if after several shows they show no sign of buying. They are getting off on your attention and special relationship and the best thing you can do is slowly cut them off. You need to worry about your earnings and they are just wasting your time. Say hello, respond to a couple of questions but work that room.

It's like panning for gold and those guys are need to be tossed back in the river. In my mind if they really cared about me then they would be buying a show from me to support me and that really makes it much easier for me to reject them no matter how nice they try to be.

Type four: The I will take you to private if...

I was in two minds to put this type up here because this one is a bit hit and miss but I feel it should be mentioned so you can make your own judgement call. It comes down to you and your boundaries, but some customers will ask you to do something and then if you do it they will take you to private. I say it is hit and miss because sometimes they will and sometimes they won't, in my experience. I never flash so for me its a case of putting on an article of clothing or showing my ass which as I have mentioned in previous posts I am happy to do as I am just showing off my figure in a thong, and I think its fair for them to see what they are getting.

I think really its a judgement call and accepting you are sometimes going to make the wrong decision as it's hard to tell who is genuine and who is not. Sometimes you are going to get your time wasted and even though it sucks you have to remember you are bigger and better than that. You can always block them if they return and will be wiser from the experience. I will give you my most recent experience as an example.

I was pestered for about an hour by a guy clogging up my feed wanting to see me in tights. I told him I would wear them in private but he kept saying put them on in public and he will take me. Eventually I did even though I had a gut feeling he was lying and no surprises he left my room only to return an hour later to make the same request. He was promptly blocked! 

It's just part of the camgirl job to deal with these kinds of cheapskates and you have to pretty much accept that it will happen, and sometimes you will get the short end of the stick. The trick is not to beat yourself up about it or get bitter. Just use the block button to get rid of the bad customers and keep smiling to attract the good. Be calm and zen about the whole thing otherwise it will make the job ten times harder than it needs to be and you may find your emotional well  being takes a hit.

I hope this post has been helpful and an honest insight to some of the stuff you can experience as a webcam model. I still say it is an easy way to make some extra money if you are smart and prepared, but it isn't all glamour and funny stories and you will have bad days just like any other job. It is how you bounce back and keep your spirits up that makes all the difference. Be kind to yourself, take breaks and don't let those losers bring you down! Take a week off every now and again too if you can just so you don't get burned out.

If this post hasn't put you off becoming and webcam model or if you would simply like more information please visit my agency website here.

Hope you are all doing well. Feel free to leave me a comment or email me at londoncamgirl@gmail.com

Love London x

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Saturday, 2 April 2011

Humiliation served here ice cold...

I had my first small cock humiliation today and I loved it. It was so liberating to just take all my aggression and anger out on a guys dick while he enjoyed it. I literally just let myself go and batter this guy. I laughed at his dick, told him he would never be able to get a girl like me, never be able to pleasure me and basically was as cruel as I could be.

Afterwards I felt really calm, like it was just nice to yell at something for ten minutes! Maybe I need to let my aggression out a bit more often.

Had a really sexy Italian guy take me private for quite a while too, we did cam to cam and he was just talking about my pleasure the whole time. All he wanted to do was watch me cum which was kind of sweet.

I also had a foot fetish day today too. Lots of guys wanting me to model my shoes and talk dirty. I even had one request I suck my toes.

One problem I did have today however was sucking on my dildo. That thing just tastes nasty with its plastic cherry silicone flavour. Makes me feel sick! I'm thinking of trying out some flavoured lubes or getting one with no artificial smells. What do you reckon?

Just a quick post as I am freaking exhausted. today. Catch you soon.

London

x




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Friday, 1 April 2011

I can't speak French...



So I had a customer enter my room who asked if I spoke French. I don't speak French. I don't count my poorly remembered GCSE French as speaking the language. I can string together a few phrases and understand bits and pieces of conversation but that is by no means speaking French. In the aim of fairness I replied that I did not speak French in his native tongue "Non, non, ne pas parle Francais." Even that reply was broken at best, but he chose to ignore this and decided to try and have a conversation with me in French anyway.

It was pretty hard going as although he was typing the words out, when I am streaming my chat in HD I find it takes up too much of my CPU usage and bandwidth for me to surf the net. It's slow and makes getting back to the chat window tricky so I tend to just leave it. Had my laptop been faster I could have popped his text into an online translator like Babel Fish and then we would have been laughing, but as it was I had to rely on my memory.

Emoticons transcend language so sending me love hearts would illicit the response "J'adore >Customer name<" from me. But then he started asking me if I would want to have sex with a vieux noir. The longer I took to respond the more fervently he repeated the question in all caps. I had no idea what a vieux was and I was a bit concerned I was agreeing to something illegal or something I couldn't actually so but decided to just say "Oui, oui j'adore un vieux..." and hope for the best. For part of the conversation I was convinced vieux meant horse, but then I remembered the word for horse was cheval and felt a little better!

Looking up the word later to my relief I saw it meant old man. So basically the guy wanted to know if I would have sex with an old black guy. I am now glad I said oui!

Another kind of french I was speaking was of a more blue nature. I had a customer ask me to repeat the four lettered c-word to him over and over again while I touched myself. That was a little bit strange to say the least. He told me he got off on that word being said by an innocent looking girl.

This whole experience has so far piqued my interest psychologically because the things they come out with are so strange sometimes. The fantasies they share so grotesque and forbidden they can probably only safely be lived out on the internet. Men demanding I pretend to be their little girl, wanting me to pretend I'm 12 in role play and call them daddy. One guy told me he was having sex with his sister while he watched me touch myself. I knew it wasn't true but it was obvious he wanted me to react to it and if they are paying for your time, then really you kind of have to put aside your personal opinion. Fantasy isn't illegal so if they want to make up a load of bull for me to respond to or perform for them then as long as they are paying I will keep my game face on and my answers as tasteful as possible. However, if they were on camera showing me something illegal, my personal integrity would have to come first. I couldn't watch something that sick, I'm not that cynical thank God!

If my adventures are sounding like fun or you would like to find out more about being a webcam model please take a look at my agency Internet Modeling. They have information and application forms here.

That's all from me for now. Will try and post again soon! Catch you later.

London

x

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